Mother Of Boys Blog

Sand Contraption Extraordinaire!

Harrison and I had missed each other as I was in the city for 2 days, so he played hooky from school today, and we had a perfect day, pottering and creating together!

We spend a loooooooooot of time in our sand pit. Yes, it is not a box, or a table....it is a pit. It is under our balcony, and it is our favourite place to play (O.K I lie, it is Harrison's favourite place to play, I find it dusty, and dark, and full of bugs, but what is a girl to do? I just picture myself on a lounge chair somewhere hot sipping pina coladas after about 15 minutes in the pit...but anyways...) I have fantasies of landscaping our back ravine and putting in a lovely lawn, but H cries "NO MOMMY, don't take away my sand pit!" And true, what could be better than a HUGE area full of dirt? (did I mention sun sand and girlie drinks????) So, today we added to our dirt pit by making a super duper zooper contraption! I think I had more fun than Harrison, but it was my Grandpa Burns (tinker inventor extraordinaire) coming out in me for sure. Oh, as you can see, H had a bit of fun too.

Enjoy!

These photos aren't really of the sand pit, I am making a dirt compellation to show the joys of the sand pit.

Theater for children prepares them for the stage called life

For those of you who don't know me, I own 2 International preschools in Tokyo, Japan. They are called ABC International School Hiroo Campus (www.abcinternationalschool.com) and ABC International School Juban Campus (www.abcjuban.com) I have dedicated myself for the last 12 years to build world class preschools that provide a magical first school experience for children. I will post about the journey of the schools in another entry, but for now it gives this post context...

Twice a year at ABC, every student has the opportunity and experience of being on stage and performing. Once for our holiday pageant, and once for graduation. The children range in age from 15 months-5 1/2 years. Over the years, I have had different teachers question the practice. It is a lot of work, and for the younger children, and children new to ABC, it can be a daunting experience. BUT what I share with the teachers is that this is not just a pageant, it is not just a dance, what it is is a major life experience that will stay with them forever.

The self confidence and benefits that children gain from being in the spotlight are immense! They will take this experience, confidence, self assuredness, and sense of accomplishment with them throughout life. Wether it's their first book report in elementary school, a debate challenge in High School, or the pitch of their life in the business world, children with stage experience will stand tall and deliver with confidence.

I watch children grow, year after year, blossoming from a frozen 15 month old (yes "the freeze" is a popular dance for this age group!!) to a confident, proud 5 year old strutting across the stage to receive their diploma, then turning to an audience of 250 with their head held high and radiating joy at their accomplishments. Yes, I cry eeeeeeevery year! Tears of pride for the little part that we have played in these children's lives.

So. A year and a half ago, we moved away from Tokyo and the schools that I love. I am blessed to still be able to run them from Canada with the help of the most amazing team that make ABC so special, and so exceptional. (you know who you are....wink wink) The thing is that Harrison no longer gets to go to my schools.... it is such a bittersweet thing that my children do not get to experience what I lovingly created. On top of that, since we left, he has had no opportunity to be on stage again. Since he started at ABC, he had already done a whopping 5 performances on stage, and was quite at ease with it. Lately, he has started to become more shy when asked to speak when people are looking, hiding behind my legs and asking me to say things for him. This is all fine, and it doesn't bother me, but it did get me thinking that I need to provide him with the same opportunities that I value in my schools. SOOOOOOO....

TAAA DAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! We have been practicing a magic show on and off for about 3 months. Today was an overcast day, and we decided that it was the BIG DAY! Harrison asked me to invite "ALL OF WHISTLER" to his show, and although all weren't able to make it, we dazzled a group of close friends with our trickery, jokes, and wizardry.

It was a smashing success, Harrison felt great pride in his show, I felt pretty good about it too (despite the fact that I look less than glam in my wizard outfit) and it was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

Tips for success:

-Gather their input into what should happen so they feel they are part of it
-Offer lots of support by being by their side and talking them through what will happen
-Practice Practice Practice! Not so that your child will be perfect, but so that it will be second nature, and feel comfortable and natural when the nerves set in
-Try to let things go... I was really stuck on H. wearing the perfect outfit with his hair combed and he wanted to wear an adult hoodie backwards.... I did deep breathing, told him that he could choose his outfit (even though it made me cringe) and by the time the show started, he had forgotten all about the hoodie and slapped on his bowtie. In the end, it wasn't important that he didn't have a cape, and he was sporting Whistler hair, what mattered was that we accomplished something together!

Bridging the gap through Sumo

I am over the moon to report that things are coming back to normal somewhat in regards to Harrison only wanting Daddy. I dug deep and tried to find my inner boy. I searched my brain for something that was raw and rough and didn't involve weapons or actual fighting..... I came up with wrestling. When he got home from playing with Daddy, I challenged him to a wrestling match. He looked up at me dubiously, and followed me upstairs to our bed AKA "the ring" The bell sounded and we stared each other down and launched at each other. Yes I started off with my kid gloves on, but as the rounds got longer and longer and our hair started to plaster against our heads, I started to come to the realization of how much release we were BOTH getting from this. Wrestling segged into Sumo and the moves were definitely more than a little WWF.... I never knew how great it felt to throw your child onto the bed while screaming "I will defeat you" AND child services wouldn't even be called!!! SO I got back some street cred with my 4 1/2 year old AND had a workout AND got rid of my pent up frustration all in one go. KAWABUNGA BABY!!

The Importance of Open Ended Projects

Our box is taking shape into a real, bonafide fort!! We are very fortunate that Uncle Shawn is (in Harrison's words) a REAL LIVE CERTIFIED QUALIFIED MASTER carpenter.... So now, we have windows, and a peep hole. Thank you Uncle Shawn.

ECE note: In a world where children receive instant gratification all the time, open ended projects provide many important life lessons including:

-How to plan for a project before jumping right in
-Organizing materials, tools and supplies required for the project
-Budget making (where applicable)
-PATIENCE to know that it won't be finished that day
-Sense of accomplishment upon completing a project

A great way to encourage open ended projects for your children or in your classroom is to have a "Project Bucket" where anything that a child is working on can be placed. This is relevant to almost anything including art projects, lego, building, block/imagination play... This can also help to ease into a new activity for children who have a hard time transitioning from activity to activity. Let me know how it works for your family!

My favourite saying is "It's the process not the product"

A great book on positive guidance

The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears

is the book I turn to when I have had a particularly hard parenting day, or when I feel that I am at my whit's end. I discovered this book when Harrison was about 2 1/2 and I was feeling increasingly frustrated and burnt out. I was losing my temper too much and in return, his behavior was spiraling downwards. I told my husband I needed a break and headed down to the city feeling like I was a terrible mother and that I was failing my little guy when he needed me the most. I started to second guess my beliefs in positive parenting and thought that perhaps if I did just tell him NO and be more forceful he would listen better.... I went to chapters and bought this book and went back to my mom's to read it. I'm so thankful that I did because all I needed was this little boost to get BOTH of our behavior's back on track!

All mother's are hard on themselves, but I sometimes think that I tend to beat myself up with the best of them. Because I so strongly believe in positive parenting and have built preschools around it, I feel eternal guilt when I am not implementing it and see the negative impact on my children.

The book provides easy to implement suggestions for positive behavior management for all ages, and is written with humour and kindness. Just this week I sent the book to my 2 best friends who are feeling frustrated with their 2 year olds and asked for some advice. I was delighted to be able to share this book with them, and if you are looking for a great place to start with positive parenting, or like me need a boost from time to time I can't reccommend it enough.: BooksLink: Amazon.com: The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears (Pantley): Elizabeth Pantley: Books.