Mother Of Boys Blog

Update on Ryderman

Sorry for the absence everyone!  Things have been a bit loopy here.  I am organizing a fundraiser for Ryder's road to recovery fund that is this Thursday night, and then a week after, we head out on a 3 month journey in search of Volcanoes!  All good though, I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of the Whistler community and my friends.

On Ryder's last MRI the results showed that the cancer was gone from his spine except for a little dot, and that the brain cancer was markedly reduced.  Ryder is walking, learning to talk again, and growing stronger every day.  His Mom Nicole says that they are so focused on recovery from the damage done to the brain now and are struggling to find good resources for Ryder.  It will be a long road, but every day with him is a blessing.  

Last weekend Harrison and I had the privilege of having 2 play dates with Ryder!  Ry would throw the ball, and H would run and get it and bring it back to him.  H would leap off the bed, and Ry would laugh and then hold out his arms to do the same.  Ryder would say "Hide" and H would follow him to his hiding spot.  Nicole was so delighted with the interaction which she said was new.

As a mother, it was joyous and heartbreaking.  I was so in awe of Nicole and Jimi's spirit and positive energy despite their exhaustion.  I vow to not cry when I am with them because every day and every minute with Ryder is and should be a celebration but there was one second where I was so overcome with emotion, and funnily enough, it was about my own son.  

Ryder's legs had given out while he was standing and he clipped his chin on the pool table.  His Mom carried him over to the couch and was cuddling him while he cried.  Harrison walked over and said:

"Scooch over there so I can come up"  he then gave Ryder a little stroke on his head (which Harrison stated was cool and he wanted to shave his hair like Ryder) and said:

"It's o.k Ryder, I fall down too. You're o.k friend.  You are getting stronger and stronger every day" then just sat there with him till he felt better.

I have never been more proud of my son.  His character and kindness took my breath away.  

I wanted to share yesterday's post from Jimi, Ryder's father with you......

Since the last post Ryder has just been improving day by day. We were due to start the next round on the 21st but his counts weren't where the doc wanted them to be so they gave him an extra week to recover. So we've been trying to keep Ryder busy and working on getting him nice and strong before the next round begins.

Something happened today that hasn't happened in a while.

I was working the shop for the first time in forever when around 4pm my family turned up. Nic with Ryder walked in and I was given a huge big smile from Ryder when he saw me, it reminded me of a time that seems so long ago which I might have taken for granted and it gave me such a unbelievable surge of energy I was overwhelmed.

Never again will that happen, never again will a simple smile go unappreciated, and never again will I forget the power of a smile.


So tomorrow go out and smile at someone for no reason, and feel the energy it brings knowing you might just have put a smile on someone else's day. Then think about Ryder and know he is feeling that energy right with you, and every bit of energy is getting him better and better.


'Every Day In Every Way Ryder IS Getting Better And Better'

My Beautiful Boys

Every once in awhile you come up trumps with a photo that just captures the essence of a child. I was so delighted when I downloaded today, and had 2 such photos! I just think that Harrison looks SO BIG BOY (And no, he is not drinking mojitos, just water with a dash of lime!) His little pensive look is so him these days...far away, deep in thought, in his imaginary land of rescuing, ninja turtles, batman, robin hood... Yes there is no denying that he if full on 4 year old boy.

This is also Maverick to a tee... he is just so full of joy that he makes me want to burst with love. This is his new toy, he is so excited, he doesn't know what to suck on first!

Sigh. love love love....

A welcome visit from a Tokyo theater friend!

When I lived in Tokyo, life was odd..... There was a part of me that was always "on" I know it sounds funny to say that Tokyo was a small town, but in reality, I lived in a little bit of an expat bubble. From the schools and Tokyo Families Magazine, it was often the case that people knew me wherever I went. Moreover, I was held to a kind of higher moral ground so to speak. No, it would not be cool to see a preschool and parenting magazine owner yelling at her kids in the supermarket or stumbling home from a night of reverie. ( Of course this NEEEEEEVER happened! Ha Ha!) I never realized the pressure that my life held on me until I moved away and sighed a big, deep exhale the first time I went to a park and NO ONE knew me!

That being said, my one place in Tokyo where I felt I was just ME, no responsibilities, no high moral code, was my little vestige of sanity and fun, and that was Tokyo Theater for Children. This theater group, and group of people was a place where I could be loud, crazy, even (cover your ears moral watchdogs...swear and drink and karaoke until dawn) Yes, not in the shows of course, but with this fantastic group of people that came from all areas of Tokyo life, and who really didn't give a hoot about my life outside of rehearsals (thankfully!)

I think it was 8 years that I have been part of the company. I have played "Mr. Meany", The girl from treasure island, The hare in Alice in Wonderland, a sewer rat, and elf, a pirate, and my favourite role of all....The fairy godmother!

Tonight was a truly fantastic night as one of my great friends from TTFC Caroline, came over to my house in Whistler for dinner. Our combined 6 kids played, hot tubbed, watched t.v, and were like lifelong friends, and I was so happy to sit on my patio and be with an old friend (not old in age...you know what I mean) We talked about how the theater was our escape, and how much we laughed and left reality when we rehearsed. People ask me all the time if I miss Tokyo, I can't say I miss my life there, but I will ALWAYS miss my friends that I made, and my special time that I spent with Tokyo Theater for Children.

Thanks Caroline and family for a great night!

My beautiful new nephew!

I flew to Vancouver today to meet my perfect nephew. I was so lucky that I got to cuddle him while his parents had a little shut eye. We talked about the world, we laughed we cried (tears of joy of course) I held his soft little head in my hand as I rocked him to sleep. I will love him forever, I'll love him for always, forever and always my nephew he'll be.

In the family mood....

Yes, I am in a very mushy family place right now. My boys are so extremely lucky to have soooooo much love and family in their lives that I don't even know where to begin. It is just so much to write about that I will narrow it down my fantastic brother and sister.

Even though kids kind of freak my sister out (is that fair to say honey?) she shows my boys so much love and caring in her own special way. She always worries that I expect her to be me and be jumping around like a maniac, but what I REALLY LOVE about her is that she isn't me, that she is she, that she is lovely, perfect, beautiful, Auntie Ewa.

My brother is also uniquely himself. A patient, kind, funny, and gentle father (now of 2 perfect boys!) but also an uncle in his own league. You know how you love your kids so much you would chop off your own hand??? He loves my kids like that. He gets them, he adores them, he would do anything for them. He's gonna shoot me for blogging about him, but I guess I'll take the heat because I just wanted to share how amazing that I think he is and how much I love him.

O.K mushfest over.....

Not only Mother of boys, but Auntie of boys as well!!!!

Congratulations to my brother, sister in law, and nephew on the birth of their perfect new little boy (name TBA!) It's been a little crazy because I was down in Van on Sunday for the baby shower and stayed until yesterday. We thought we had 10 more days til the planned c-section, then yesterday she was admitted to hospital, and last night they decided to operate! Mom and baby are healthy which is all that matters, now the fun begins!!! I am taking the floatplane down and back tomorrow, so stay tuned for photos. Yes, I admit I bought a whole heap of pink things for the shower, but in my heart of hearts I am so overjoyed that it's another boy because now Maverick will have his own special boy cousin just like Harrison has. Guess we may just have to try for 3....yes, I know it'll be a boy as well!

Thanks to Maz for this "Thank heaven for little boys" photo!

The moment when time stands still

I have to preface this with HARRISON IS O.K... I don't want to scare any people that love him. He has been complaining of tired legs lately, and saying that his left leg hurts when he flexes or shakes his leg. As a mother of an active boy, I was keeping an eye on it for a few days thinking it would go away. Then a few days ago, he had a slight limp and I noticed that his leg gave out on him a few times when he went to run. We went right to the doctor, but it was Sunday and closed. Yesterday, we showed up and there were no appointments (it's a drop in clinic, but was full) So finally today we went in.

I have to preface that we are so lucky to have a family doctor. I know this is CRAZY, but so many families in Canada aren't able to find a family doctor right now. Not only do we have one, but she is FANTASTIC. Dr. Cathryn Zeglinski of Northlands Medical Clinic is everything you want a family doctor to be. She is kind, sharp, and never makes you feel rushed or trivial (yes I have had a doctor look at their watch in Whistler and tell me it was more than the alloted 5 minutes...)

Back to the story. I told her the symptoms and you know the second that the air shifts? I could sense a slight tensing in her and the student doctor and a look pass between them (O.K I have a VEEERRRYYY active imagination but anyways..) She examined him and then sent us straight to the clinic for hip x-rays. My body was numb while I kept telling myself "it's just a sprained muscle, it's just a sprained muscle" Kids get aches and pains all the time. I kept running through the conversation with a good friend the night before (PLEASE DON'T FEEL GUILTY FRIEND!) where she told me "my little sister had chronic hip pain and the doctors kept saying it was just growing pains until finally one doctor sent her for an MRI and it turned out to be a tumour on the base of her spine" I kept thinking "Is today the day that is going to change the course of our lives? I know I am dramatic, always have been, always will be. Such is life. Harrison was such a trooper getting x-rays. This is HUGE as he is the same child that actually trashed Dr. Zeglinski's waiting room one time, even overturning furniture!

Back to the Doctors to hear the words that I wanted to hear "All looks normal here" ......and time stopped standing still as I exhaled. He is being treated with advil for 4 days to see if he still shows symptoms without feeling the pain, and then if so, we'll take if from there.

I wish I had the inner calm of my husband who says that he wasn't worried for one moment because he just KNEW that everything would be alright. I'm not one to talk about my faith openly, but I truly feel that every day with my little boys is a gift from god.

Check back tomorrow for a little humour as I take you through my hysterical journey of trying to hire a nanny!

Roller coaster of emotions.

I've been away from my typepad for a few days.... this weekend has been a roller coaster of emotions. On Saturday, Susie and I set out to Squamish to the Test of Metal race to try to raise money for Ryder's trust fund and get the biking community to support their bike shop Sharkey's Cycles (www.sharkeyscycles.com) It was so overwhelming to tell the story time after time that by the end, I was emotionally spent and exhausted. I came home and went to sleep at 7:15. What broke my heart more was that what I was feeling was nothing compared to what Jimi and Nicole are going through every day...

Sunday was a much better day. We celebrated our family, and the most WONDERFUL AND AMAZING father, Jockey. I know that we are very fortunate to be able to have both parents at home to raise our sweet boys, and I think of how lucky my sons are every day to have a father that has neverending energy, patience, and who is an official member of Harrison's rescue squad.

Jockey provides for Harrison, what I can't. I just can't throw myself into flinging myself off the bed, or rescuing for hours on end. Fathers can roughhouse with their sons in a way that most Mothers just can't.... and I've finally come to embrace the fact that Harrison NEEDS time to be out of control, to go in search of "baddies", and yes, even to be obsessed with superheroes. Raising boys is a special journey, and I am so blessed to have Jockey at my side every step of the way. Hats off to all the single mothers of boys who are trying their best to be both Moms and Dads to their sons. Dig deep and find your inner superhero, it's tough, but it's there.