Mother Of Boys Blog

Update on Ryderman

Sorry for the absence everyone!  Things have been a bit loopy here.  I am organizing a fundraiser for Ryder's road to recovery fund that is this Thursday night, and then a week after, we head out on a 3 month journey in search of Volcanoes!  All good though, I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of the Whistler community and my friends.

On Ryder's last MRI the results showed that the cancer was gone from his spine except for a little dot, and that the brain cancer was markedly reduced.  Ryder is walking, learning to talk again, and growing stronger every day.  His Mom Nicole says that they are so focused on recovery from the damage done to the brain now and are struggling to find good resources for Ryder.  It will be a long road, but every day with him is a blessing.  

Last weekend Harrison and I had the privilege of having 2 play dates with Ryder!  Ry would throw the ball, and H would run and get it and bring it back to him.  H would leap off the bed, and Ry would laugh and then hold out his arms to do the same.  Ryder would say "Hide" and H would follow him to his hiding spot.  Nicole was so delighted with the interaction which she said was new.

As a mother, it was joyous and heartbreaking.  I was so in awe of Nicole and Jimi's spirit and positive energy despite their exhaustion.  I vow to not cry when I am with them because every day and every minute with Ryder is and should be a celebration but there was one second where I was so overcome with emotion, and funnily enough, it was about my own son.  

Ryder's legs had given out while he was standing and he clipped his chin on the pool table.  His Mom carried him over to the couch and was cuddling him while he cried.  Harrison walked over and said:

"Scooch over there so I can come up"  he then gave Ryder a little stroke on his head (which Harrison stated was cool and he wanted to shave his hair like Ryder) and said:

"It's o.k Ryder, I fall down too. You're o.k friend.  You are getting stronger and stronger every day" then just sat there with him till he felt better.

I have never been more proud of my son.  His character and kindness took my breath away.  

I wanted to share yesterday's post from Jimi, Ryder's father with you......

Since the last post Ryder has just been improving day by day. We were due to start the next round on the 21st but his counts weren't where the doc wanted them to be so they gave him an extra week to recover. So we've been trying to keep Ryder busy and working on getting him nice and strong before the next round begins.

Something happened today that hasn't happened in a while.

I was working the shop for the first time in forever when around 4pm my family turned up. Nic with Ryder walked in and I was given a huge big smile from Ryder when he saw me, it reminded me of a time that seems so long ago which I might have taken for granted and it gave me such a unbelievable surge of energy I was overwhelmed.

Never again will that happen, never again will a simple smile go unappreciated, and never again will I forget the power of a smile.


So tomorrow go out and smile at someone for no reason, and feel the energy it brings knowing you might just have put a smile on someone else's day. Then think about Ryder and know he is feeling that energy right with you, and every bit of energy is getting him better and better.


'Every Day In Every Way Ryder IS Getting Better And Better'

So many firsts...

Oh my baby is getting so big! Maverick is 6 months old in 2 days, and milestones are just flying by..... Harrison had such severe colic that we never really got to enjoy the "baby months" Of course he brings us joy every day of his life, but colic is colic.... It has been such a pleasant surprise how lovely it can be! And then POOF before I know it, my little one has grown a tooth, had his first swim, and gobbled down his his first bowl of baby mush!

Next we'll be giving speeches at his wedding....

Isn't he just edible????

I'm a lumberjack and that's O.K......

Well, today we went to the Squamish days lumberjack festival! My goodness those boys know how to handle a saw.... My favourite was the log rolling competitions where someone ends up soaked in the water (but with the heat today, it was probably a nice relief for them!) The one where they climb to the top of the reeeeeaaaaly long polls, and then pretty much freefall down scared the you know what out of me! The announcer was hilarious, and there was nearly a riot when the beef on a bun people ran out of horseradish!!

All in all, a great day out!

My Beautiful Boys

Every once in awhile you come up trumps with a photo that just captures the essence of a child. I was so delighted when I downloaded today, and had 2 such photos! I just think that Harrison looks SO BIG BOY (And no, he is not drinking mojitos, just water with a dash of lime!) His little pensive look is so him these days...far away, deep in thought, in his imaginary land of rescuing, ninja turtles, batman, robin hood... Yes there is no denying that he if full on 4 year old boy.

This is also Maverick to a tee... he is just so full of joy that he makes me want to burst with love. This is his new toy, he is so excited, he doesn't know what to suck on first!

Sigh. love love love....

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Lucky to have Maz in our lives.

We were so lucky when Maz came into our lives in the form of Harrison's very first ski instructor when he had just turned 3. As you can imagine I was a neurotic stalker Mom with a telephoto lens in the bushes, but she taught him the safety of the mountains, cheered for him when he had a successs, and held him when he cried for me.

Since that first year, she has become such a wonderful part of our lives as babysitter, caddy, playmate (for both H and me!! Tee Hee) and most of all, friend. But the most exciting thing is that she is coming with us on our journey in search of volcanoes in 4 weeks. I am so excited.

Here's some photos from a "Livin the dream" day with one of the loves of his life Maz. Yes, if you can believe it, this was all in the same day!!!

Living Large in Whistler (As stated by a 4 year old....)

Neema says to Harrison:

"Wow, what a wonderful life you have in Whistler. Skiing, golfing, biking, fishing, soccer, lakes....."

and he says:

"Yeah... I call it LIVIN LARGE IN WHISTLER!"

Where does he get this stuff from????

I Lied...sleep training SUCKS!

Yes, definitely WAY too cocky on that one! The thing is, he can now actually put himself to sleep for naps after up to 10 minutes to crying, but the nights have gone to pot..... Sometimes he's up 5 times a night, or he'll wake for an hour and a half. I AM SOOOOO TIRED!!!!

Had a great nap today though AND cleaned my office, I feel so refreshed not having junk piled mile high on the floor and my desk. O.K, fibbed again, I just piled everything up in a big plastic container! I don't care, at least it feels clean!

Massive Rockslide on Highway 99

Well, it's one of the hazards of living in paradise....Highway 99. On Tuesday night at midnight a massive rockslide covered the road, took out the train tracks and plummeted down to the water below. Thank god that nobody was under the rocks. Double quadruple million thanks to god that my dear friends Liz and Shaun and their children's pizza delivery man was late in Vancouver as they were the second car to come upon the slide.

The only way to reach Whistler is a back road that takes 7 hours. Whistler ran out of gas and milk for half a day, half the town panicked, and the news reported there was a gas and CHILI crisis....SERIOUSLY what are we gonna do without chili? Call the marines!

O.K, but this is supposed to be a funny post! I was going to take Harrison and Maverick down to meet their perfect new nephew and take the big boys to Playland at the PNE. So Neema was having lunch with H's cousin today and he says:

"I am so sad that my cousin Harrison can't come to playland with me. He can't come because he's STONED in Whistler!!!

HA HA maybe in 12 years....I dread to think!!!!!!!!

Slightly Embarassing...

Harrison came home from his 3 nights with Neema and very excitedly told me:

"Mommy, Neema let me use the steaming hot thing"

I said "What steaming hot thing?"

He said "The one to make the clothes flat"

I said "Ohhh you mean the iron"

He said "YEAH, I've NEVER seen one before!!!"

Busted.....

Who the heck has time to iron anyway????

*Note: I know that Neema would be mortified if I didn't point out that he was allowed to put his hand on hers and do it together safely!

Harrison and his Neema

Harrison has had a fantastic 3 days staying with his Neema (Grandma) in our Whistler condo. We were so blessed to have her live with us until H was 3 and help to raise him while I was working. The 2 of them have a bond that I can't describe, it's like they are connected on another level. It was always a little bittersweet for me because when he was little, it was her who he cried for if he was sick or hurt, but I was always happy for the 2 of them and the special relationship that they have. I knew that no matter what I was his Mommy and words can't describe the feeling that it brought me to know that he was safe, adored, and lived a richly stimulating perfect life when I had to be at work.

Now, ironically, Neema still lives in Japan, and we are in Canada. It's hard for both of them to be away from one another, but when they are together, they enter their own world and off they go... I went to bring supplies to the rescue heroes and I found them in the dark in the walk in closet whooping with delight. When I went in, I found them in the dark whipping a glow in the dark bouncy eye ball around the closet. If the ball hit Neema, then she tackled H, and vice versa. I tried to play along but holy moly having a hard little ball ricocheting at me in the dark was waaaaay too crazy for me. If you can believe it, they had been in there for an hour already, and probably would have been for another hour if I hadn't interrupted them!

Yep, Neema rocks!

It's the process, not the product!

You should see our art cupboards, they are brimming, overflowing, we have EVERY art thing imaginable both bought and scavenged BUT Harrison has been losing interest in art over the last year or so. At our last house, we had the most amazing "art bar" where the materials were right there to access, and I think that was definitely better because he would get inspired a little more.

So it kind of makes me sad, because we used to have SOOOO much fun doing our messy art together but the other day, I got reminded a really valuable art lesson from my husband if you can believe it! (he's not really that into art, that's why I said that)

I walked into the kitchen and there was Harrison as intent as can be creating a masterpiece.....with his golf tee and golf ball!!!! My husband had provided materials that H was into, and then the magic just came!

Keep your eyes peeled for more masterpieces soon!

Sleep training sooo different on second child!

I just wanted to insert that I used to think that sleep training was hideous. Before I had children I used to be angst ridden if I was at a house while they were doing it. Don't they love their children? What message are they sending them, that they won't be there when they need them?

These views carried on through my first child, I sobbed next to the sleep doctor as she instructed me to maintain no eye contact and keep my hand on his little heaving chest until my allocated (silent) 5 minute hug.

I didn't follow through with the program, I secretly thought she should be reported to the child welfare authorities. I thought that I was proving how much I loved him by waking with him 10 times a night...

With Harrison, we waited too late, by 10 months, he was so firmly in his ways and so stubborn that sleep training just never worked and in the end, I really like to crawl into bed, snuggle up and smell his sweet breath next to me to end each day (even now!). BUT It's been a long 4 1/2 years with lots of sleeping issues. It's good now, but it took awhile to get here.

I no longer think it's torture, I no longer think it's mean. I think that helping children learn to self soothe is a really important skill, and even though it doesn't really seem like it, I do think it is positive parenting to give a child tools they need even if it's going to be a rough couple of days learning....

Today has been another good day, down to 3 minutes to fall asleep!!

Yay.

Cool new chat widget!

Now I can chat with you through my blog! See the cool ipod looking thing down the left hand side? Go to the happy face button and send me a message, I'd love to know what you like to read on my little old blog, and where you come from (if I don't know you!) You can also see your dot on the rotating map...yes little things amuse me terribly!

Day 2 of sleep training!

So we've gotten in the hideous habbit with Maverick of rocking, bouncing, nursing, swaying, driving, strollering, you name it to get him to sleep. We knew better...we've had a sleep doctor for Harrison, we know ALLL about sleep associations etc, but somehow we did it anyway.

The thing is, Maverick is a giant! He's a reeeeeealy heavy 5 month old, and I can't imagine what it'll be like at 10 months bouncing around a 40 pound baby as my muscles bulge through my shirt.... Not even that, but it's making me crazy, and it's not doing him any favors. The other day I would rock him for 25 minutes for him to sleep for 5! He did this all day then woke up 5 times in the night. CRAZY I KNOW!!! That's why enough is enough.

This little monkey is going to learn to fall asleep on his own for the good of our family and his own.

So yesterday I started. I decided that within every 2 hours of waking, he would be put back down as soon as he displayed any tired signs.

Round 1: He cried for 5, screamed for 5 then FELL ASLEEP (Oh yeah, I'm a superhero...) definitely too cocky..

Round 2: He screamed blue bloody murder for 12 minutes then I brokedown and breastfed him and he slept (not such a rockstar now...)

Round 3: He babbled for 5 minutes then sleep. YEAH

Round 4: He screamed for 15 minutes (while I had a glass of wine to calm my fraying nerves) and then I patted his back to sleep, I actually got to read stories to H while he slept, put him to bed, and then M woke up again, but I left him and he actually settled himself within 5 minutes!!

Nighttime: Fed him at 11 and then he woke 2 times in the night but settled himself HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a first1

Day 2

Woke at 7:41 played, bottle, back down at 8:41 and

PUT HIMSELF TO SLEEP IN 4 MINUTES!!!!!!

Oh yeah baby, we can do this!!!

You know you're raising your boys in Whistler when....

-the names on the cubbies at preschool are Saxon, Jett, Diesel, Indiana, Van & Rocco....

-Any child with a salon haircut or brushed hair really sticks out....

-Parents are in a panic that if they put their 4 year old in the minis ski program instead of kinderkids, that their child won't get to ski black diamond runs....

-Training wheels at 4 is sooooo passe...

-Every sport is the EXTREME version, they stand on their crossbars while riding, they ride their skateboards in the real ramps at the skatepark, they ski backwards, through the trees and try to do 360's when they go over a jump...

-They go into training for the "Kids of Steel Triathlon" at age 5...

Sigh, what is a protective Mommy to do?

Mommy made me mojitos for dinner....

Soooo we made a big mexican fajita dinner last night as Harrison is big on trying new foods at the moment. With a big smile on his face he said "Mommy, can you please make me another Mojito?"

I can just picture his teachers face when he tells her Mommy made him Mojitos for dinner!!!!

Yes, I am a rock star mother...

A welcome visit from a Tokyo theater friend!

When I lived in Tokyo, life was odd..... There was a part of me that was always "on" I know it sounds funny to say that Tokyo was a small town, but in reality, I lived in a little bit of an expat bubble. From the schools and Tokyo Families Magazine, it was often the case that people knew me wherever I went. Moreover, I was held to a kind of higher moral ground so to speak. No, it would not be cool to see a preschool and parenting magazine owner yelling at her kids in the supermarket or stumbling home from a night of reverie. ( Of course this NEEEEEEVER happened! Ha Ha!) I never realized the pressure that my life held on me until I moved away and sighed a big, deep exhale the first time I went to a park and NO ONE knew me!

That being said, my one place in Tokyo where I felt I was just ME, no responsibilities, no high moral code, was my little vestige of sanity and fun, and that was Tokyo Theater for Children. This theater group, and group of people was a place where I could be loud, crazy, even (cover your ears moral watchdogs...swear and drink and karaoke until dawn) Yes, not in the shows of course, but with this fantastic group of people that came from all areas of Tokyo life, and who really didn't give a hoot about my life outside of rehearsals (thankfully!)

I think it was 8 years that I have been part of the company. I have played "Mr. Meany", The girl from treasure island, The hare in Alice in Wonderland, a sewer rat, and elf, a pirate, and my favourite role of all....The fairy godmother!

Tonight was a truly fantastic night as one of my great friends from TTFC Caroline, came over to my house in Whistler for dinner. Our combined 6 kids played, hot tubbed, watched t.v, and were like lifelong friends, and I was so happy to sit on my patio and be with an old friend (not old in age...you know what I mean) We talked about how the theater was our escape, and how much we laughed and left reality when we rehearsed. People ask me all the time if I miss Tokyo, I can't say I miss my life there, but I will ALWAYS miss my friends that I made, and my special time that I spent with Tokyo Theater for Children.

Thanks Caroline and family for a great night!

My beautiful new nephew!

I flew to Vancouver today to meet my perfect nephew. I was so lucky that I got to cuddle him while his parents had a little shut eye. We talked about the world, we laughed we cried (tears of joy of course) I held his soft little head in my hand as I rocked him to sleep. I will love him forever, I'll love him for always, forever and always my nephew he'll be.

H & M Kids clothes come to Vancouver!

O.K, I know I moan A LOT about how much cuter girls clothes are than boys, and yes I am aware how much money I have saved my family by not having a girl BUT one little small ray of shopping heaven has opened on Granville Street in Vancouver. H & M is an English chain, and OMG I am never shopping anywhere else ever again for my boys.

When I arrived home and said I had a present for H and he saw it was clothes, he looked less than enthused BUT when I whipped out a pair of drainpipe jeans with his very own chain and wallet attached the mood definitely changed. WHen he puts the jeans on, his whole walk changes into a swagger, it just kills me! Skull & crossbone shoes, dress shirts with spiderman on it (it's a compromise, at least it's a dress shirt) and shorts printed with centipedes and spiders COOOO-Wull Mommy-O!